Durians - $?

So this isn't a real meal and in the spirit of me posting stuff that isn't regularly featured on this all-American blog, I have here the king of fruits (I didn't give it that designation).

Party

Durians... where do I begin. I think most people will know it for its immensely strong scent. Some say it smells amazing (almost always Asian), others think this can be effectively used as crowd control (almost always Caucasians). This, when the fruit isn't even open yet. Those who DO enjoy this delicacy(?) actually hold Durian Parties. It's a pretty sweet idea, despite your feelings about this fruit. I mean, how often do you hold a fruit party? Honeydew Party? Grape Fest! Awesome.

Coming from Malaysia I find it slightly ridiculous to have to describe this, it's like an American having to explain the idea of a hamburger. But here we go: it's a dull navy green fruit with a very VERY strong scent.

Sliced up.

It's about the size of a human head, ranging from the average of a 13 year old to slightly below Jay Leno. It has spikes all over the exterior, and it's pretty darn heavy, so handling this fruit for long periods of time requires thick gloves. Throwing this fruit at a person, even just a slice of its shell, can be fatal. So far I haven't heard of any fights with durians as the weapon of choice, but that would be hilarious. Maybe it's cos you can't conceal it too well unless all your enemies have a major nose block that day.... and you'd probably regret putting it in your pocket too.

Opened up.

Anyways. To open it, you need a butcher knife, you hammer it in and start prying it open. The shell, as you can see from the photos, are actually compartments or pods with the seeds in there. From the photos you can see, you can only pry it open when you get it right at the "joint" between 2 slices. If it doesn't pry open easily, you'll have to hammer another area.. I'm sure there's a way to "see" the joint lines, but I'm no expert at opening durians.

So all that effort and you get to the seed itself, the yellow bit. Its texture is very soft and erm... creamy. Depending on the type you get (there are gradings for durians, D24 being the best) it can have a very sweet or very bitter overtone, but the durian taste itself is... well I don't know how to describe it.

The Seed

It's unique. And pretty awesome, really. It's just that after eating durian you do NOT want to socialize for the next 24 hours as it causes flatulence and let me tell you, durian gas, Jesus, THAT'S crowd control. Yes durians are one of those food types (much like asparagus) that taints your everything, your pee, your farts, your burps, your soul.

So that's that. I really don't know how else to describe it. I could write a full essay about this (I think I have!) but to understand it all you must try it. Available throughout South East Asia, but you find it in some supermarkets in Australia, probably elsewhere but I've seen it in Australia.. those however must've gone thru some kinda retardation process cos they have no scent at all, and that's no way to experience durians.